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I guess I have to grow up. by khh6
November 2018

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November 8, 2018

Feeling: good

Been a challenge to write with the site going down as it has for the last week or so. So I decided to listen to the smart people and do this offline until things are stable.

So much has happened in the last few days.

All the glass has been moved to the studio. Well not all but 99%. Thatís a relief. Now just arranging it and get the place operational. Feels good to have that one last ball Iíve been juggling come to rest. I still have to build out the shop to accommodate the new configuration but thatís not a big deal. The vast majority of work is done.

Feels good that all the projects are now finished.

Son is on his trip. Heís sending pictures as he makes his way up the west coast. I think he is really having a good time. I think this trip is more than a trip. It seems to be a kind of cleansing for him. A way of righting his vision for the future.

He sent a letter to his mother before he left. It was well thought through and painfully honest. In it he outlined all the things he felt were done to him by his mother and her family. I can attest they were real. He told her he didnít like her as a person. He didnít trust her and that he had tried everything in his power to overcome these things with her but that she refused to see and acknowledge the issues that existed between them. He didnít want to hurt her or punish her but he didnít see any way they could have a relationship given the unresolved issues that exist. He had no idea how to move forward into a new relationship with her if she was this same person that made these choices that so hurt him in the past and would not see how it affected him. It was no use trying. So in essence he was saying either you take this one last chance and see the truth or we part company for good and get on with our lives. No more excuses or pretending from her.

As you can imagine Pam was a mess after reading this. She showed up at my shop crying and panicked about permanently losing her son. I read through the letter and saw that he was reaching out to her and asking her one last time if she could see his side of what happened to him and how she and her family responded. Giving him no choice but to build a life without them. Heal himself and move on.

I told her I felt this was actually good news. That he was asking her to have a new relationship but also to see the pain she and her family had caused him over the years. He was willing to move past it but now without her acknowledging it. I didnít know what kind of relationship this would be but it would be better than the one they currently have.

Long story shortÖÖ.Iím hopeful that they will find a way. I think Pam listened this time. I think she is seeing his side. I told her to talk with her friends and people she trusts and work through this before responding to him Not to make any excuses or not say anything hoping that it will all go away. Time will tell if she is able to endure the difficult road ahead of her or not.

Personally I am doing well. The stall in weight loss has changed and I am not down a total of 25 pounds as of this date. Pain is much less. I feel better. I move better. Iím hopeful. Like the lifestyle and itís easy to follow.

Things I am thankful for:

Son having fun on his journey

feeling good

less pain
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