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May 24, 2018
I find myself slipping into old habits again and Iím trying to mentally scramble to save myself. I donít know if itís because Iím trying to do too much too soon or if my mind and body are just not on the same page.
My biggest problem is that I am a boredom/emotional eater. I donít know why it seems so hard to stop myself and ask why I want to eat when Iím not hungry. I might be lucky if I stop myself more than once a day. I am trying to eat on a somewhat loose schedule in order to eat less. It works if I keep myself busy, but not so much when I just sit here. So, I guess I just have to keep myself busy or find something else to occupy my mind. And maybe bigger notes on the fridge and cupboard doors.
Second problem I have is walking 2-3 miles daily, which I have no problem walking at a slow pace. Each day, I try to walk at a slightly faster pace, but I feel like Iím walking in molasses. Everyone seems to be walking faster than me, even little old ladies. The muscles in the back of my left knee feel like their burning and I sometimes feel out of breath. I try to push myself because it ďdoesnít hurt that badĒ, but I end up walking slower. Then, when I think Iím making progress, itíll rain the next day or itíll be the weekend. I need to walk every day, regardless of the weather. And if I walked on weekends, then Mondays wouldnít be such a struggle.
I think another problem might be my attempt to do a modified plank for 10 seconds and failing. I thought it would be easy to do because I was excited to try it and 10 seconds doesnít seem that long. I canít even hold it for 5 seconds. I can feel myself wanting to quit that, but if I stopÖ Iíll never reach that goal of 10 seconds. Then I might decide to stop something else that might not be giving me the results I was expecting. Itís almost like an ďall or nothingĒ attitude, and I donít want to be like that. I will try to keep doing this and tell myself that 5 seconds is better than 1.
I have to keep after meÖ to force myself until my daily goals to improve my health become habits. And hopefully they become habits before they start feeling like a chore.
Anyway, I just felt like updating this journalÖ to remind me of problems I have with my goals at this time, and to tell myself to keep going. I donít want to be in the same spot next year.
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"You have not failed until you quit trying." ~Gordon B. Hickley