September 11, 2018
sometimes i still miss them so much that my heart hurts, abby and sancho, and my eyes sting. it just feels so wrong that they are not still here with us.
i haven't mentioned this maybe but about a week after we left s's her much loved daisy died. b was home with her and he noticed she was walking with difficulty and after laying an egg in the bushes instead of inside the coop she couldn't stand up. she he called s at work and scooped up daisy and drove over to pick up s. she held daisy in her lap on the way cooing softly to her but daisy just got weaker and weaker on the short drive. she died in s's lap just as b pulled into the parking lot. b called the vet from the car to explain. but he said to bring her in anyway which they did, crying, b wearing one of his chicken dad t shirts. people waiting with their dogs and cats looked up s said with something like sympathy but also wonder in their eyes.
yesterday i saw a video on fb with a young boy crouching in a yard with chickens. a rooster can be heard in the background and the clucking sounds of hens as they browse thru the yard looking for anything edible. when he opens his arms one large white hen walks directly into his arms and rests her head on his young shoulders as he gently hugs her closer. that was daisy and s. and all those other chickens in the background, that little boy probably also knows...each with their own personalities, their own quirks and habits.
it feels like it's impossible that one minute they are here with us and then the next day so tangibly, physically unreachable forever more.
our club president sent out an email at the end of the day letting everyone know about j's death. "unforeseen complications" were the words he used to explain the sudden stealth.
when i look out the window this morning there he is. our little hummer friend sitting on his perch that holds his favorite feeder. somehow, his presence there cheers and warms me. that little jewel of a bird, not much bigger than a bumble bee he's so small, yet so full of life, sometimes his sequined feathers catch the light just right, sparkling with flashes of ruby and emerald, a whir of wings stirring within me hints of treasured comfort on a day like today.