January 23, 2014
Brian's dad's eye surgery will be on the 30th or 31st. He's dealing okay with it when there are people around, but Brian's mom tells a different tale. They both are having a really hard time with this, are sad and crying a lot. I can't say I blame them.
Brian's dad is a fighter. And, I've discovered he and I are similar creatures in a variety of ways. I sense his frustration and the underlying reserve that, dammit, I'm going to give it my all. I know it's his eye. It's a tumor. It's scary as scary gets. I want so much for this to be successful. I doubt his eye sight will be 100% restored, but if he can make out color and shape-it's golden. Again prayers and good vibes welcome. Please and Thank You.
The cast meeting for the play is on the 6th. We'll find out which parts we want/get and get to know each other. I am so excited for this. I'm not one to stand a lone in the spot light, but I'll darn sure share it in the name of fun/education.
I'mm pretty sure that I wrote I got a 4th class; we;re doing okay. Things are going good, trying to get into the swing of things. It'll take off soon, now that we don't have days off until Spring Break.
Connor has a sinus infection. I had to pick him up from school on Wednesday. Gawd was that a cluster-fuck. Spent 30 minutes out of 50 with my 11 o'clock class, cancelled my 12, got the kid and was back for the 3 o'clock. Good grief does the daughter need to get her car fixed and pronto. She "says" the guy who paid for her to go to Morocco still owes her money, but she's saving it for an apartment (excuse 1) now she says,she's afraid if she gets the car fixed she might run off (excuse 2) because she and I haven't been on good terms.
Basically stated. She's afraid. She's grown very comfortable here. (she says not). She's like a teenager again: is on the phone or internet all the freakin time. Barely does any house work, has a crappy part-time job. The sad, sad, sad thing is she just doesn't want to confront her responsibilities (she shoves Connor off on me all the time)and is afraid/doesn't know how to grow up. I back off then I am perceived as not caring. If I help too much then, I'm not letting her be the mom.
I can't win, and I'm pretty much done. I understand now why my parents made some of the choices they did; I don't like them, but I understand.
Oh, and this Younes fellow she's "with" from Morocco is just a crazy-stoopid-fool hearty pipe dream. I cannot foresee how they would ever be together. I fear she'll run off once she gets her tax refund. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out how I would stop her from taking Connor. It would ruin him...and me if she did.
Anyway, that's where things are. Thank Gawd Brian and I are okay.
Love and Belief~