|breakthrough and breakdown|
October 28, 2020
I am angry and overwhelmed. I'm not sure why the Universe feels I should work through my traumas during the biggest shit-show of our time. What's that saying about pouring salt on an open wound?
These feelings have been stirring around for a while now and have been exacerbated by social anxiety, pandemic shit, and confusion about how someone can lie and live in their own reality. And the sycophants lap it up like dogs begging for scraps. How on Earth did this happen? And I feel like we're at the crossroads. Can't we just exile the whole lot like Napoleon? I know we can use the cages at the border...
That would make me no better.
Yesterday, I had a long chat with Brian, and I had a couple more breakthroughs about my behavior. I've got some work to do regarding respect. This is a deep one. I also keep people at a distance and often put a physical barrier between myself and them. I guess you can't hurt me if you can't get to me.
As the day wore on, my attitude changed, as I busied myself with other things. I'm still angry about a myriad of things, and if I set a few things in order I won't feel so overwhelmed.
Right now, a day later, with a kitty snuggled at my feet and coffee at the ready, the sun about to rise, I feel a bit more hopeful, and I have my fingers crossed that enough of us have had enough of this madness, we choose the other path. Fuck knows we need to.
Another day closer my friends~