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November 2018

It's 1230p and it feels like it's already 8 o'clock in the evening
November 8, 2018

Stopping and starting things...that's all life entails.
And now at this point in my life I need to stop doing a lot of things, chief among them paying attention to politics. I just have to remind myself that "I'm not missing anything," any time I want to hear about what's going on with the mess that is this country/world. Just forget about it altogether.
I lost most of my indignation during the Iraq war, seeing how many people around me just didn't care at all and did not want to be bothered with the facts in front of them.
Maybe I fear I am becoming like them now...just sinking into that hole called middle age where I know that even thinking about the stuff is pointless.
And then you have another wave of young people that think they are going to change things, blissfully unaware of how fully entrenched the overlords actually are and how little they actually care for the "common man." So they just bang up against the bars for a few decades and then either give up or realize that at some point they were subsumed by the system.
Other than that I found a "new" band that I like today, and I've liked everything I've heard by them so far. They are called Still Corners, and it's pretty relaxing stuff, but with an edge of longing to it...at least it creates that feeling in me, like I just want to be on a highway with a full tank of gasoline, good weather and no one to go visit. The best times in my life were on road trips, and I don't take wild road trips.
I just drive until I get tired and then settle down for the night, then get up and go again the next day.
I wonder, too, if those days are behind me as well now. I can't even motivate myself to take pictures and can't really see the point in doing so. It's not that I don't find things or people or whatever uninteresting...it's just that I'm done taking pictures in the hopes that someone else can somehow re-live, however minutely, what I was experiencing in that given moment in time.

By far my favorite road trip to date was to go from the outskirts of d.c. all the way up to the border with Canada, in and out of Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusetts, NY, NJ, with Pennsylvania thrown in there somewhere.

That trip and the one where I moved from SC to Ohio, driving mostly at night.

I did take the road trip again for a second time with Marie, a few years later after the initial one, but it wasn't the same. I like traveling alone so I don't feel the need to talk or to have to stop at a moment's notice for someone with a small bladder.

The road trip around the outer ring of Iceland was cool, too, but that was really just a day trip in a rental car. I'd still rather do that than the tours we took where 15-20 people had to be taken into account.

There are a lot of things from that trip, the weeklong one, that I remember, but one thing in particular always will stand out to me...
We had to get gas at one point and were unsure of how to get the pump started. It's not exactly the same as in the U.S.
An attendant from the station came out, a female, and it was pretty darned obvious to me that she was either Canadian or American to me. And I just wondered how someone in their early 20's, a foreigner to that country, had ended up there working at a gas station.

I do that a lot, though, mostly in just passing places by, or thinking about places that I'll never be, like some tribal village in Africa somewhere. Somewhere out there, no matter what the circumstances are, there's a living, breathing (hopefully healthy) human being going about their day to day business.

And Europe always intrigued me with that, too - being so dreary and boxy-looking. I just wish I could step inside someone else's soul for a week and set up camp. Not have to do anything but observe, and not having to feel the body. Just experience the view.
by Zombalaya
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