Because... by biggmamaz
April 2009
7Golden Ties
9not ... all
11I commence to...
14...wake up! be viewed...
20The Brainwashing
22...The Perfect Age....
23...look like...
24Shooken Up....begging
25 How Unspeakable!
27Nope... after tomorrow...
29...patting myself...
...look like...
April 23, 2009

I did not feel the need to become whorey, until my ex married his so called, by me, fuck bag. Ever since then, I flirt. Flirt with the anticipation that someone may care enough about me, to leave his wife and three sons. The major problem with fulfilling that fantasy, is, married men turn me off, so, I never flirt with them. Deep down, I am a firm believer that what goes around, comes around. And, someday, maybe my ex will leave his current fuck bag, as it appears the monies I provided him to buy mine and my children's freedom is about to run out. Being of the High Maintainance caliper, she won't tolerate living paycheck to paycheck. Today, I pray that their happiness stops.

I have not done much, these past two days off from work. Did not have any real mean thoughts, until this morning. Probably because, my pocketbook is empty, and I've no one to ask to go to the bank, for me. I'll have to do that myself. That means that I can not be a recluse today.

What to wear, what to wear? Jeans, white pullover sweater with a decorative hip band and matching sleeves, no socks, clean underwear and bra already accounted for....hmmm, can not wear boots without thigh sick of white shoes, the blue walkers look too masculine, the pink slippers with the outer protective plastic shell no longer have soft fluffy insides-they're all mashed down, I do not have any authentic ugg's raining and under 40 degrees, so can not wear the leather mules (besides, don't feel much like dancing), maybe, I'll just go barefooted and do my banking at the window....The neighbors will only think that I'm just another Crazy American. Oh, by law, have to wear something on my right foot! Gawd damn-why does life have to be so complicated?

Haven't decided as to whether or not I had a dream, or a night mare, last night...there was some blond dude at the foot of my bed with an uncircumcised dick that he was offering me to toy with. It was so ugly, that I asked him who he was, instead. He never did give a name, and I was too repelled by his dick. So, nothing happened. I awoke and found that there was not a man at the foot of my bed-thank God!

So, the bank will be opening in five minutes and that is ample time for me to get dressed. What with keeping my hair braided, there's no need to mess with that-it's fine...just a little cherry coloured lipstick, and I'll look like a million dollars!

Returned home by noon, wearing little tenny runners with horizontal, tan stripes that brought out the golden/orange giant paisley lines running up the left leg of the cuffed jeans I'm wearing. Absolutely spectacular! Oh, and to top it all off, my orangy/auburn braid is as perfect!

So, now, I'm tired and shall nap with the hope that a blond headed man with an ugly uncircumcised dick does not try to convince me he's Mr Sandman! I swear, if he does, I'll never sleep again!

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