|Constant Guilt/Going Back|
August 28, 2011
I've been up since 430am. :/
Strange night, couldn't get comfortable, the bed just seemed smaller, and sharing it with a 2 year old and a 13 year old didn't help. Tossed and turned till I got up. Bleh. Watched the weather channel for a good hour, watching Hurricane Irene. I've got friends and some family living in one of subburbs of Philly, So I'm worried. We live on the other side of PA, so we aren't getting anything but clouds from it. Although Last night was a BEAUITFUL night.
Dave managed to get his check cashed. I was shocked. So, in true fat people fashion, we loaded the kids up and took off.. we must feed our faces. We did have a good laugh over that, I told Dave, isn't it FUNNY, the moment we get a few extra $$$ the first thing that comes to mind is.. LETS GO OUT TO EAT... no wonder we are FAT!! lol But we did stop at the mall and the kids got their book bags for school, and their socks. Today we just have to pick up a few school supplies and thats IT! They go back tomorrow!!! We ate out and by the time we got home it was after 1130pm. Wyatt's Mom is suppose to pick him up this morning sometime.
Cleo is doing great. She's a hell raiser, full of energy. She loves Noah, and Wyatt is finally warming up to her. She's so strange though, when we go to bed, she GOES to bed, and she sleeps all night. Me getting up at 430 didn't faze her, she laid on her back, snuggled down with Noah. I saw her tail come bopping across the living room around 630, and she's been raising hell ever since. But, still, I miss my Bones and it doesn't seem to be getting easier. Now I have all this guilt about putting him down, how could I have done that to him? Maybe he could of came out of what he was going through. I still cry at the drop of a hat about him. I miss his constant company. I miss him. This fucking sucks.
Im actually giddy! All my kids are IN BED, because they got SCHOOL IN THE MORNING!!!! 1st day back. I'm so excited. No plans tomorrow besides picking up this place, just gonna relax on the couch, maybe SNOOZE, watch tv, surf the net.
For tonight, I'm going to enjoy the peace... well as much as i can with this big LUG sitting beside me.