May 15, 2014
Hmmm.. Got a email this morning from Hotmail.. someone tried accessing my account.. at 530am this morning.. I *wonder* who that was.. I'm not going to say anything. I changed my password, moving on from there.
May 30th is coming fast. I cant BELIEVE Noah is graduating in 2 weeks. My mind is struggling to wrap around the fact that he's going to be 18 soon also. For those of you who have been here and read my journal for the past 9 years, you know the struggles I've had with him. If I think too hard on it, I cry. I never thought we'd get to see the light at the end of the tunnel with him, because he was just so HARD to raise. My mind flashes to some of the horrible things he's said, done, and also to the things IVE said and done to him. Again, it brings me to tears.. I'm glad and thankful those days are behind us. I'm thankful that we didn't give up on him, because he really is a great kid. I love, love him to pieces and wouldn't trade (well maybe a few I would) the bad times we went through to get where we are with him.
We've been talking about what he's going to do after high school. He doesn't want to go to college. *heartbroken* The military might be a option somewhere in the distant future, and I've talked to him about going to Job Corps (that's where I met Dave) He could go to Pittsburgh, and learn a trade down there, and maybe *fingers crossed* maybe go to college, because they PAY for it. He could go to CCAC, like Dave and I did, and maybe find a degree he'd like, and get himself his associates. I just want him to do SOMETHING with himself, other then sit here, like Jake, day in and day out. We did agree to give him the summer to Relax, goof off, maybe get a part time job (he brought home 4 apps the other night) so he's motivated to work.
I'm still praying to get the 12 tickets we asked for so everyone can come to his graduation. They are only promising MAYBE 8. *sigh* I've got my fingers crossed that it will work out.
My Mom. She's never going to change. I've resigned myself to that fact, and that is why when Dave PUSHED for her to come back around at Christmas, I didn't want it, because I KNEW eventually she'd start pulling her shit, and hurting my kids, me. She NEVER fails. I asked her 2 weeks before prom if she wanted to go with Noah and I to lunch, and get his hair cut, come back to the house, help him dress and then go to the park for pictures and then to grand march, she was "excited", she wanted to go. So of course a few days before she starts her shit, blah blah blah.. okay. Then she calls me Friday morning with a fucking lame excuse as to WHY she cant do ANYTHING with us. She has to MOP the floor of the church. Really? THAT takes the entire fucking day to do?! I just said okay, made a excuse to get off the phone and hung up. I texted Noah and told him, and he was upset. That made me cry.. and cry.. and cry. Fucking BITCH.
I let it go, and we had a good day without HER. in the evening I sent her a picture of Noah, saying.. "what you missed" she didn't even acknowledge the comment and just said he was handsome. Okay, bitch. I gotcha. So Saturday she tried texting me, I IGNORED HER. Then she calls, declined. Voicemail. Am I going to be around sunday? Ignore. Sunday morning she texted me said Happy Mother's Day. I just sent her a pic of us in Altoona, and she asked where we were, and I just said Altoona, she said I hope you have fun, enjoy your day. I never responded back, NEVER said Happy Mother's Day. I refused to buy her a card, a gift, NOTHING. None of the kids wished her a happy mothers day either. I hope she felt hurt, and I hope she cried. I hope she felt the same fucking let down Noah and I did Friday because she didn't care enough to be there. The ironic thing about this all is.. she said to me a few weeks back.. she couldn't handle it if I stopped talking to her again.. HA. Ha. smh. I'm just where I don't care if I do. I don't bother her.. she's usually the one that calls or texts first and even then I really don't bother with her, I respond, but other then that, nothing. I guess some people will never appreciate what they got, even when its gone.
My man Wyatt goes home today. sigh. He's been here since Monday..